Monday, June 26, 2006

allergies still suck

so obviously, i lied. i didn't fix my site, nor did i catch up on the email's i'm behind on. other than playing on friday and saturday night and working the beer garden at the drag strip on saturday and sunday afternoon, i didn't do much of anything except wander around like a walking snot zombie. which doesn't appear to be much of a turn on to women. imagine that.

this weekend i'm leaving to go home to missouri for the 4th and to see my brother who has been celebate in kuwait for the last year. i plan on celebrating the 4th by blowing stuff up, and he thinks he needs to spend time with his wife. whatever, but anyways i will try to fix my site before i leave and give an update on something more interesting than my superhuman bronchial activities. right now, it's time for more benadryl, coffee, and a nap.

Friday, June 23, 2006

allergies suck

so every morning for the last month i've woke up to a screaming headache, aching eyes, and record setting eye boogers, you know, the ones where you touch the blob blocking your entire vision in one eye, and it stretches out about 2 inches before it breaks in half. yeah, welcome to my life. hopefully all the cottonwood trees will quit blooming soon, otherwise i'm gonna have to go live in a bubble some where in antarctica where there are no plants and foods to be allergic to. eskimos survive by eating snow, don't they?

tonight we play at the eagle's club, hopefully i'll feel somewhat alive by then, otherwise it'll be a long night. and since i'll be all wired on coffee and redbull by 2am and can't sleep for another 2 hours, i promise to fix my website issues and send the 12 emails i'm behind on. and tomorrow i'm supposed to go help at the first drag race of the year here in lewistown, which should be fun on about four hours of sleep. and of course, as i insist on only the best for myself, i get to work in the beer garden, which is the funnest job out there. i donated my keg refrigerator and co2 tap to them since what they had been using was quite scary looking, even after a few beers. and since i no longer feel the need to dispose of as much beer as possible my self it should actually be alot more fun watching everyone else act like idiots instead of being one myself with them. i'm all for beer and drugs, it just didn't work well for me. and while i realize that someone has to drink that beer because it can't throw it's self up, i'm content being an innocent bystander now.

not that i feel any better by staying chemically clean since i'm allergic to everthing and sick all the time from that, but at least my friends like me more now. so all in all, life is good, except for these dang eye boogers......

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

new server

on monday hankwood.com switched to a new server with lots more storage and bandwidth, and as some of you noticed and emailed me, something is screwy today with the navigation buttons. i checked, and while i still think you guys are nuts, in this case you were not just seeing things, the mouseovers on the buttons are wrong and the nascar photo set on the gcr&g page doesn't load right. everything else is fine (so far), i'll get it checked out later tonight, first i have to go set up and do a sound check.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Father's Day

since it is a special day, did you notice i went the extra mile and pushed shift to capitalize the post title? unfortunately that's all the excess energy i had for today since i didn't go to bed until 7 am and it is now 11:20 am, i've already been up for an hour, and i still do not understand how anyone gets up, drinks coffee and does anything willingly. but i'm working on it.

anyways, outside it's a beautiful father's day here in montana, i'm listening to fall out boy as loud as my computer speakers will go, and yes mom, i know i should be at church right now, but at least i took my vitamins with that first cup of coffee. so happy father's day to my pop's and all the other fathers (biological or otherwise), uncles, dominant lesbians, and whom so ever it applies to. which isn't me, as far as i know, unless goldfish and 2 dogs count.

last night we played in havre, which was a really long day for me, as i woke up yesterday morning with an allergy headache, and about one second later i realized i was going to puke it was so bad, which i proceeded to do, on my bed. but luckily i missed my pillow and my lindsey lohan blow up doll. i mean, my dog holly. so then i rolled around for the next four hours trying to go back to sleep since reality totally blew, literally, (and after i summoned all my available strength to change the blankets), until finally falling asleep for about 10 minutes when carl called saying it was the crack 'o noon and time to hit the road to havre. great. and the guys kept being mean to me on the trip up there by talking about all kinds of gross things when they knew i was only one more slimy green booger story away from puking on the floormat, and they really got mad when i fell asleep, so what if it was my truck we were in, and that i was driving. those guys can be real cruel some times, but so far they've not kicked me out of the band even though i'm still the nations worst guitar player (except for cc deville, and that's only because i'm better looking than him) to ever get payed to play. so luckily for me, carl, jerry and mike are all excellent players, and if i can hang a rhythm out there that they can figure out what song it is, they take care of the rest and all i have to do is stand there and look like the hot guitar player that i am. and something else they can take care of is a food buffet. i used to make fun of my cousin bigin, the tug boat captain, by calling him the buffet bomber from the amount of devastation he could bring upon a buffet line, but after those three guys did just one straffing run on the buffet at kfc in havre, holy crap, there was even naw marks on the ladles. i'm talking total anhilation. the girl behind the counter looked at the buffet after they went through and said "holy cow, we need more of everything! they ate ALL the chicken!" and, we couldn't leave until they brought out more chicken! i ate pretty much nothing trying not to puke still, and they more than made up for me. of course, since i was sick i didn't make too much fun of one of the other band members who was having a "certain" medical problem that i promised him i wouldn't talk about here on the 'ol blog, so don't worry jerry, i won't tell any one, i got you're back on this.

so thanks to all the fun people out in havre, especially the chic's that kept coming up saying how cute i am, since, as any of the three people who read this blog know, i'm a shy, reserved, very low self-esteemed person. so positive reinforcement on my dashing good looks, impeccable taste in clothing, great sense of humor and stallion like performance in the sack is always greatly appreciated.

and to andi, the hottest looking collision tech ever, who's favorite food also happens to be macaroni and cheese, may i buy you a house? (as long as i get to live in it with you)

Thursday, June 15, 2006

the rustang lives!

the photo's suck since i took them with my cell phone instead of my camera, but after i tint the windows and get the band logo on the back window we will do a photo shoot doing something cool with it.





it has small falcon hubcaps since i didn't like the original mustang ones, and i left the chrome cross bar with the running pony on it out of the grill since i think it looks better without it.

so april left this last weekend, and this coming weekend we are playing in havre, a whirlwind trip leaving saturday morning, setting up, sound check, a quick dinner, playing until 1 am, tearing down, loading all our junk, and getting home about 6 sunday morning, all without sleeping. but as usual, it will be great fun. i just want some time off as i have 4 phone numbers on my fridge of girls i said i would go out with when i get time. hopefully some time before i'm old. and before i need viagra.

and now i'll answer a few questions:


Do you always play from the left side of the stage, or do you guys trade places some?
--i'm always on the same side, and we don't really wander around on the stage much since we would get all tangled up in the cords. i would like to use my wireless more as it is nice to walk around unrestricted. you know, like going commando.

hey hank, what ever happened to the ford pick up ??
--the bed and front clip are sand blasted and sitting in my garage waiting for this fall when i hopefully have time to work on it.

where did you learn to do body work?
--i worked at a chassis shop after college building race cars and the guy who owned it did body work on show cars, so he explained a few things and the rest i learned on my own

Did you go to the doctor to get rid of the cooties yet?
--i had some penicillin epi pens in the fridge from my last groupie party, so i used those.

Dude, like, did you kill some brain cells recently or what? The last few posts you've misspelled a bunch of words. Very unlike you.
--well, it is allergy season again, and after a cortizone shot in my butt i'm finally starting to feel better. and maybe i should fire the monkey that does my spell checking.

I live in San Diego, is Becky hot looking? And, what does the sticker by the volume knobs on your guitar say?
--yes, becky is hot looking. and her biker husband likes it that way. the sticker says "caution, rider may bail at any time"

Is premonition like a hoagie sandwich?
--sort of, except that you have heartburn before you eat it, not after.

becky said...
(i bet you don't even remember when my birthday is! and asking your sister is cheating...)
--you're right, i don't remember when it it is. but i do remember who put peanut butter under your mustang door handle.

that's enough for now, we are loading the band equipment up tonight so i gotta go. have a great evening.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

great news!

AP Associated Press

Updated: 4:17 p.m. MT June 7, 2006
NASHVILLE, Tenn. - Billy Ray Cyrus wants his mullet back.

if that's not good news, i don't know what is. and no, i will not be shaving the top of my head to help him further his cause. with any luck he will grow his mullet nice and long. as in, long enough for some cake eating, crack snacking bayou betty lesbian tug boat wrangler (no offense, bigin) to wrap around his neck and strangle him to death like piano wire.

on a brighter note, rangersis and i just got back from yellowstone national park and i have the pictures to prove it. there are 21 photo's in all, so if you are on a dial up connection, you have plenty of time to go make coffee, do some laundry, mow the lawn, and maybe even write a dissertation to complete your masters degree in lifetime leasure sports, all the while waiting for everything to download.

anyways, enjoy the photos, and feel free to save any you like. if you want the high res file for printing on a larger format, email me and i will send it to you. and if you happen to make millions selling my pictures, at least have the courtesy to send a thank you card to: hank wood, c/o yellowstone clinic, psych ward 1, billings montana.

and, i promise to post pictures of the mustang soon now that it is painted, as well as answer some of the questions that have been asked. if you have any more, post them in the comments section.

here we go:


shouldn't she be looking at the road?

snowstorm on beartooth pass

april at mammoth hot springs

island in yellowstone lake

checking to see if the flash works

the grand canyon of yellowstone

i have no clue why i took this picture

Roy G Biv

girl's don't poop, but buffalo sure do!

there's one in every woodpile

april's shoulder and an elk in velvet

clubhouse at undisclosed frisbee golf course

sorry april, you have to throw it from where it landed

billy, the undisclosed course pro

me chucking one through a tree

april stuck behind the same tree

nesting eagle picture

april's nesting eagle picture (mine was better)

the historic fairweather inn at virginia city

april's haunted hotel room

the ghost in the mirror told me to "get a haircut"

and the sun set as we rolled back into lewistown

Friday, June 02, 2006

ick!

i got kissed by my sister.

in public.

in front of a camera.

and now i have cooties.